This is definitely not what I should be thinking right now. Finding excuses to what I am facing isn't really what I need in life but I keep doing it. Suddenly something came across my mind telling me about how I wanted to be alone but I am not really living alone. I feel the rejections around me and making me not believe that I can move forward. Sighs, this is definitely something I need to surrender to God.
Let's just say I have glossophobia, which I don't think doesn't play a big role in why I am not willing to social. But it does give me something to think about. Afraid of rejections? Everyone in this world learns to take rejections, but why do I make it such a big deal as if the world is pressuring me. Sighs, another thought that shouldn't have popped out. Haha, what's the reason for me opening Facebook? Looking for new friends? Not really what I have achieved since I joined Facebook starting year 2007. Keeping touch with friends? Just a few, I would say only 4, if I can remember. And when my old schoolmates added me and when I added them, I never really talked to them. Just adding them for the sake of adding. What am I thinking? >.<''
Yeah, true, living alone facing digital social life is so much easier than making it in real social life. Maybe I really should go to the National Service to clear that kind of wrong concept up. The concept of unworthiness is always there. Dunno since when and dunno why it started, but it is something that makes me do things I don't really should do and things I don't wanna do. Should I make it to a point that I am also a failure in life? Kinda like a next item that should be added to my bucket list. XD
Oh dear, look at me, all dramatic and thinking too much. Guess maybe I am unworthy for someone to have me as a husband. But thank God for letting me have a few friends for keeps. Really appreciate them. And really wish they have a great life too. I guess it's time to go back to God. He's my only hope to getting out of this shitty situation. XD
But then, self realization that I am still someone to some people's eyes, that I am still a human to some people is something that I should learn everyday. Thanks to some people, some acquaintances, some friends, some family members, I stand before myself and live till this day. Most of all thank God... ^^
Signing off,
Despereaux De Joe...
I know things are gonna be better. ^^
Ok, 2nd post of the month. Some improvement here. ^^
So, despite there are no readers, I am still happy cause I can write anything I want. It's fun. Recently I keep listening to David Archuleta's Other Side Of Down album. Oh, I don't know why I feel so attached to whatever he is singing. It's just that the lyrics are speaking my mind. So I am glad. I love to listen to Things Are Gonna Get Better. It's more like an encouragement for me though I lost my job. I truly congratulate those who got it, but of course, life has up and downs, so I will just have to smile and take it.
I am still confused with what road should I take in future. I really don't know whether to go for Biotechnology, Actuarial Studies or Material Science and Engineering ( MSnE suddenly popped out of my mind today.. >.<'') Sighs, and should I take Biology for Cambridge A-Levels (CAL)? o.O
I guess it's up to God to help me answer these questions while I do some research on what are the career prospectus for these courses. And may I choose the right one as well.
Yes, things are gonna get better if we walk on. Though life will be tough but at least we should know that we signed up for life not because it's easy, because we have a chance to shape our own life. We only live once for God gives us only one chance, so live it to the fullest. Thanks for letting me fib here. I love to blog when no one reads it. XD
Signing off,
Despereaux De Joe...
So, despite there are no readers, I am still happy cause I can write anything I want. It's fun. Recently I keep listening to David Archuleta's Other Side Of Down album. Oh, I don't know why I feel so attached to whatever he is singing. It's just that the lyrics are speaking my mind. So I am glad. I love to listen to Things Are Gonna Get Better. It's more like an encouragement for me though I lost my job. I truly congratulate those who got it, but of course, life has up and downs, so I will just have to smile and take it.
I am still confused with what road should I take in future. I really don't know whether to go for Biotechnology, Actuarial Studies or Material Science and Engineering ( MSnE suddenly popped out of my mind today.. >.<'') Sighs, and should I take Biology for Cambridge A-Levels (CAL)? o.O
I guess it's up to God to help me answer these questions while I do some research on what are the career prospectus for these courses. And may I choose the right one as well.
Yes, things are gonna get better if we walk on. Though life will be tough but at least we should know that we signed up for life not because it's easy, because we have a chance to shape our own life. We only live once for God gives us only one chance, so live it to the fullest. Thanks for letting me fib here. I love to blog when no one reads it. XD
Signing off,
Despereaux De Joe...
1 year 1 post! XD
Ah, lucky I don't have much followers in this blog cause this blog can be as inactive as 1 year 1 post. XD
Let's just say I'm terrible with stories. I can't describe it well in words or even orally. But I don't no one cares. Anyway, it's 2011. Finished SPM last year and had a trip that was pleasant. I still like 2009 trip better cause it really was so much better where we friends are trapped, I meant literally TRAPPED in Genting cause there's nothing much to do after going to the theme park and you seriously can't just barge in with a overdue wristband. So it's more on fellowship... Last year is more on play. The theme park is so big, you can't expect everyone to play the same thing together at all times, so grouping and classifications happen. Not much fellowship is done and therefore, the motive of the trip which says to have more fellowship, failed... I meant FAILED!!! >.<'' But credit goes to those who made an effort to organize this trip cause it tops in the fun factor, failed in gathering the students. So, duh, it's just yet another play trip... I visited 4 malls for the past weekend and Selangor and KL. I also had my countdown in my car last Friday cause there was a serious traffic congestion on the highway. The fireworks are amazing but of course, beautiful things doesn't last long... >.<'' Last but not least, it's opinion time. I am quite disappointed that I have not been shortlisted to work as a tele-marketer at "So & so" Company. And I feel disgusted if someone which I do not wish to be there got shortlisted cause "she" was introduced to the job by one of my decent friends. And I seriously hope she won't get it. But what to do, the world isn't fair after all. People who shouldn't be there will be there. Lets just cross fingers and hope for a better job to fill my holidays. And of course, driving lessons to be taken this month. I just take it as a process of life, receiving rejections and seeing people whom you don't like to get what you want. It's life... It may be like a vacuum cleaner, but it also gives us good things. May God bless the year and may I hope that this year I will continue to post more on this blog so that it will not be a "1 YEAR 1 POST" blog... XD Till then, signing off. Happy New Year folks... ^^
Let's just say I'm terrible with stories. I can't describe it well in words or even orally. But I don't no one cares. Anyway, it's 2011. Finished SPM last year and had a trip that was pleasant. I still like 2009 trip better cause it really was so much better where we friends are trapped, I meant literally TRAPPED in Genting cause there's nothing much to do after going to the theme park and you seriously can't just barge in with a overdue wristband. So it's more on fellowship... Last year is more on play. The theme park is so big, you can't expect everyone to play the same thing together at all times, so grouping and classifications happen. Not much fellowship is done and therefore, the motive of the trip which says to have more fellowship, failed... I meant FAILED!!! >.<'' But credit goes to those who made an effort to organize this trip cause it tops in the fun factor, failed in gathering the students. So, duh, it's just yet another play trip... I visited 4 malls for the past weekend and Selangor and KL. I also had my countdown in my car last Friday cause there was a serious traffic congestion on the highway. The fireworks are amazing but of course, beautiful things doesn't last long... >.<'' Last but not least, it's opinion time. I am quite disappointed that I have not been shortlisted to work as a tele-marketer at "So & so" Company. And I feel disgusted if someone which I do not wish to be there got shortlisted cause "she" was introduced to the job by one of my decent friends. And I seriously hope she won't get it. But what to do, the world isn't fair after all. People who shouldn't be there will be there. Lets just cross fingers and hope for a better job to fill my holidays. And of course, driving lessons to be taken this month. I just take it as a process of life, receiving rejections and seeing people whom you don't like to get what you want. It's life... It may be like a vacuum cleaner, but it also gives us good things. May God bless the year and may I hope that this year I will continue to post more on this blog so that it will not be a "1 YEAR 1 POST" blog... XD Till then, signing off. Happy New Year folks... ^^
A game of thought...
Ah, a year has passed again. Its the March holidays and I haven't done my homework yet. Gotta do it soon.
Tonight, I felt bored and I surfed to find some internet games to play. Somehow, this game came up to me. Its called Cosmico, it is a simple but yet meaningful game. At first i was just playing it for the sake of entertainment. I didn't really notice the storyline. Suddenly, after 2 levels, I read the final story and it says that the robot character I am playing is happy to make the world a better place and then, its power blinked for the final few times. It doesn't have anywhere to rest or recharge in the universe, so it just float there and smile and then die...
The music really made this scenario touching. I played the second time and start to notice the story, and then I realized that this robot is actually trying to turn dead stars alive again just to grant the wishes of the planets which are dead stars. He is actually dying, but still he tries to do something cause he wished to do something in life. So he ventures around saving dead stars and subsequently, dying as well for his power is depleting. And the story goes on till the last level. And suddenly I realized, this game does have a meaning behind. Even a little robot like Cosmico could try to use all his last might to help the world, why can't we humans try to save it while we are still living so happily. Its really a great thing this robot did, but why can't we humans do the same as well...
I have a feeling this is a message to us. We should do things for the world before leaving it. We should help those who could be helped with all our strength and might. While we have the energy, make this world a better place...
Well, if you are interested on why I wrote about this game, its better you try it your own. The link is here. On the speaker as you play, its the music that makes you thinking. Read the storyline as well. Enjoy. ^^
http://armorgames.com/play/2360/cosmico
Tonight, I felt bored and I surfed to find some internet games to play. Somehow, this game came up to me. Its called Cosmico, it is a simple but yet meaningful game. At first i was just playing it for the sake of entertainment. I didn't really notice the storyline. Suddenly, after 2 levels, I read the final story and it says that the robot character I am playing is happy to make the world a better place and then, its power blinked for the final few times. It doesn't have anywhere to rest or recharge in the universe, so it just float there and smile and then die...
The music really made this scenario touching. I played the second time and start to notice the story, and then I realized that this robot is actually trying to turn dead stars alive again just to grant the wishes of the planets which are dead stars. He is actually dying, but still he tries to do something cause he wished to do something in life. So he ventures around saving dead stars and subsequently, dying as well for his power is depleting. And the story goes on till the last level. And suddenly I realized, this game does have a meaning behind. Even a little robot like Cosmico could try to use all his last might to help the world, why can't we humans try to save it while we are still living so happily. Its really a great thing this robot did, but why can't we humans do the same as well...
I have a feeling this is a message to us. We should do things for the world before leaving it. We should help those who could be helped with all our strength and might. While we have the energy, make this world a better place...
Well, if you are interested on why I wrote about this game, its better you try it your own. The link is here. On the speaker as you play, its the music that makes you thinking. Read the storyline as well. Enjoy. ^^
http://armorgames.com/play/2360/cosmico
Framed? Insulted? Blamed?!
I dunno what's wrong with everyone now. Yeah, they hate me I wouldn't care much. At least I didn't do the reports. And they just F**K me like bitches. I don't understand a person who loves God can also do something that shameful. But seriously he earned a credit on helping out friends at least. We could excuse him. Though he helps the wrong way, but he stood for what he did. The others, well, I don't even have the power to judge. I mean :
WHO AM I TO JUDGE THEM?
Fair enough, but why pull me in? Why shove me down the water as if I did it to you guys. I judge watch and see. Is it wrong? I did shut up. I know I maybe chicken but there's a point that I didn't have to do anything at all. At least it has proven that after those "acts" your marks aren't higher or intimidating. I just don't understand why am I insulted by some people? Shutting up is also wrong? Then what do you want me to do? I don't usually use F-bombs but this is serious. F**k'in me is not a solution. But I don't have the right to judge. But do you guys have it?!
Whatever done is doned. Like Eddryll said. Seriously speaking, he was a little pissed when he saw the "acts" and he did say ripping the heads off those who are in the "act" if they get better than him. Pity him you guys. Have some heart of conscience please you guys. You guys aren't blunt. I see the way you play games, and it isn't silly. You guys are potential winners. But why don't choose a better way.
To be honest, you guys wouldn't drop to any class!
"AG" is good at chemistry, at least he proved it in class. "CME" is good at
playing games. I will actually lose him if I play games with him. I lost to him
on Scramble when I played his iPod. XD "StL" is smatter than I
am. He won me in the mid-year exam and everyone knows it. So why do
you guys think you would get down.
So I just don't understand why you guys
wanna blame me for this. You guys are actually fine if you use the correct way
to do things. But I don't judge cause I had already been judged. Fine, that's
all I have to say. There will be lots of comments again I assume. You guys
already hate me to the tops and I have nothing to say. I admit,
playing games. I will actually lose him if I play games with him. I lost to him
on Scramble when I played his iPod. XD "StL" is smatter than I
am. He won me in the mid-year exam and everyone knows it. So why do
you guys think you would get down.
So I just don't understand why you guys
wanna blame me for this. You guys are actually fine if you use the correct way
to do things. But I don't judge cause I had already been judged. Fine, that's
all I have to say. There will be lots of comments again I assume. You guys
already hate me to the tops and I have nothing to say. I admit,
I have VERY FEW TRUE FRIENDS... Shoot me if you want.
P.S.
Including those who knew me well. I know deeply in your heart there is something you hate about me. Spill it all out, I need to make a change for this. If you really are my true best friend, tell me all you want to criticise and be honest.
End,
Despereaux_De_Joe
I missed my blog...
Well, it's been a long time I haven't post anything here. About the change, it's actually almost complete. So it's a new me now.
YAY!!!
I felt a little bad being on here now cause exams are near. Yeah, tomorrow is a holiday therefore I am up till now. Bad me...
Today was Eddryll's birthday. Of course that baby-faced person doesn't really look 16. XD
But he's a great guy/boy. We gave him a pencil box caused his one looks so screwed and it lacks of lots of stationaries. Maggie planned to buy that for him so that he can have his own things to use. We are happy that the prank we planned failed. He looks so hard to ignore, it makes me feel guilty on ignoring him the whole day but end up he was happy. SO ARE WE... XD
My birthday was a snap. The pre-birthday bash was fun. But the real birthday was zits. My pre-birthday bash is a steamboat-cum-BBQ party. Of course there are gourmets such as Lagsana, spaghetti, and some coleslaws made by my wonderful parents who raised me up so far. And my friends did had a good time though the party was more on eating than playing. XD
That was one of my best days of this year till now. I got a pencil box and a wallet (both from Body Glove. XD). Appreciate those great gifts from my friends.
I caught a quote about birthdays from one of my friends on Facebook. It says
" Rather than counting the birthdays you have, why not count the blessings you received... "It's quite nice and I like it. So I planned that in my future birthdays, I should give my parents a gift rather than they giving me one cause it's they who brought me to this world. Thank them so much. ^^
To those whose birthdays are coming, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and count your blessings than counting the years you have on earth.
PEACE TO YOU ALL!
The Change... (Still in progress...) =D
Yowdy partners, I am back... But I am sick too..
"SORE THROAT, COUGHS,
LIVER PROBLEMS! "
What can I say.. But I am happy nowadays. I found out that lonliness can be overcome if you know how to see everything in a different way.. So, i try to change views... ^^
Alas, I found a ludicrous quiz... It says it will tell you what problem are you having now.. What is your MAJOR PROBLEM... And you know what? They said I am TOO FRIENDLY!
I love to have credit on that. But am I REALLY tha FRIENDLY? You tell me (please, XD). Cause I don't really know... But all I know is that I am sometimes silly.. I always trust people that CAN'T be trusted and neglect those who COULD be trusted...
"PLEASE TELL ME I AM STUPID.. XP"
What can I say... I am silly. But hope that you friends can forgive me if I never trust you guys... I will change myself. I promise..^^
But in return, I hope you all can be with me and let me have a great time with you guys before I leave... ^^
THANKS..
By,
The Joyful one who is leaving the world soon.. ^^ ( How sarcastic.. Forgive me mates... XD)
"SORE THROAT, COUGHS,
LIVER PROBLEMS! "
What can I say.. But I am happy nowadays. I found out that lonliness can be overcome if you know how to see everything in a different way.. So, i try to change views... ^^
Alas, I found a ludicrous quiz... It says it will tell you what problem are you having now.. What is your MAJOR PROBLEM... And you know what? They said I am TOO FRIENDLY!
I love to have credit on that. But am I REALLY tha FRIENDLY? You tell me (please, XD). Cause I don't really know... But all I know is that I am sometimes silly.. I always trust people that CAN'T be trusted and neglect those who COULD be trusted...
"PLEASE TELL ME I AM STUPID.. XP"
What can I say... I am silly. But hope that you friends can forgive me if I never trust you guys... I will change myself. I promise..^^
But in return, I hope you all can be with me and let me have a great time with you guys before I leave... ^^
THANKS..
By,
The Joyful one who is leaving the world soon.. ^^ ( How sarcastic.. Forgive me mates... XD)
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