Obliviate

I always imagined that I can really do some magic. Not to impress or gain impression, but to erase and forget. If only I can learn to "Obliviate", let others forget that I have something attached to them. If only I could only keep the memories of not more than 10 people in this world, maybe I wouldn't have been in this state of confusion and despair. Obliviate, like how they did in Harry Potter, erase the memories and the existence of myself. Let only not more than 10 to know that I am someone to be remembered. Other than that, I can just keep it as if I am their employee, their subordinate, their acquaintance or just a person that might be imaginary.
Too bad, gotta grow up and know that the real world doesn't allow you to erase, but allows you to look back at what you achieved or done, and move forward...
I always tell others life doesn't have second chance and they should live well. But why don't I say that to myself? Why do I need to hurt myself unnecessarily? Why do I make myself ignored? Why do I want to be ignored? Sighs...
Questions that I myself can't answer and neither do anyone except God. He created me, so He knows what I need. I really should just cry with Him than to cry alone and make myself open to let the devil bring bad thoughts to me. Life as a teenager isn't hard. But sometimes we just make it hard for ourselves. I really need the wisdom to see through all this ridiculous thoughts. These are the things that stop me from growing spiritually. I hope I can do this. But with the help of God, I can do this.
May God lead me through...

Obliviate..... *wind blows softly* XD